take_life_one_cup_of_tea_at_a_time_poster-r89922c11c94248558e03c755378040f3_rjc_8byvr_1024I’m sitting here, reeling once again from the shock of diagnosis.

The strange thing is that this is actually not a new diagnosis, nor is it a serious one. In Little’s life, this is but a mere blip. Turns out, diagnosis shock is real, regardless of the seriousness of the dx…

And yet, having gone through the sadly typical journey of diagnosing him myself, getting righteously angry at the slip up, seeing the doctor and having a formal diagnosis and now a course of action, I’m now shaking and teary. Emotions are funny old things.

Having a child as complicated as Little means that more mundane childhood issues sink to the bottom of the pile. And the follow up visits with the paediatrician simply don’t address them.

Ten years ago, almost to the day he received a diagnosis of virally induced asthma. This was following a bad spell of croup which has left him in hospital – again.

We were given a preventative inhaler, with very minor instructions, and that was the end of that. No asthma action plan, no checking on inhaler technique, no reviews… in fact, it was as though the diagnosis was so minor as to be irrelevant.

Over the years, croup reared its head, we always ended up in hospital, ill for days, losing weight. I always mentioned the asthma, but it was never heard, and I didn’t push because it didn’t feel serious or even quite real.

This week, the boy has been coughing fit to burst. We haven’t slept for nights, he has hardly eaten a thing. We’ve seen doctors, had steroids, ended up in hospital (luckily not in-patient) and the cough just goes on and on, only stopping after using his salbutamol inhaler.

In desperation, I googled.

Guess what?? Asthma doesn’t always come in wheezy form! It can also be “just” coughing.

And Little fits the symptoms absolutely perfectly.

We are now in a protocol, in a system. We have a suitable gizmo for his inhaler, we have spare inhalers. We have an appointment with the asthma nurse, and will have an action plan and all the paraphernalia needed at school. In other words, we finally have a proper diagnosis that brings with it a plan of action.

I’m hugely relieved.

I’m also feeling dreadfully guilty that had I kept on top of this, we would no doubt have avoided countless hospital admissions, and that this week he would have been spared a lot of distress and pain.

There’s no one to blame, and everyone. This was picked up early, really well, but was never actioned!

We finally have a care coordinator at our main paeds hospital, whom we are due to meet next week. This is typical of the reasons we need a doctor pulling everything together. I may be on the ball, I may do a lot of research, but I am no replacement for a doctor with medical training and experience.

Now I’m off to make a cup of tea, allow myself a few tears to process all this then get to the laundry to have the house ready for the boarders to come home for their half term…

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