One of the people I consider to be a kindred spirit just posted this status on Facebook:
Do you know why happy tears taste the same as sad tears, Mindi?
Because all tears come from the ocean of love.
Your nautical wheeler
I love that the Universe hands me these little nuggets of wisdom just when I need them. We’re back to Serendipity once more; were I not looking out for this particular nugget, I would not have accorded it the significance I now do.
After weeks of steering my ship through choppy waters, I’m running out of whatever it is that usually keeps me going. I’m tired, exhausted actually and craving silence, peace and sleep. I’m sad and teary far too frequently. The tears flow just as easily for happy thing: I just found out that Edison, inventor of the light bulb, was afraid of the dark. Sweet Girl’s special teddy is called Edison, and the idea that she might be able to use her (multitudinous) fears for good is beautiful and sets me off leaking from my eyes again.
My immune system is struggling and I’m feeling just short of ill almost constantly. Nothing terrible, but a general feeling of not coping.
It’s not entirely surprising. Since July, I’ve not had the benefit of my usual three hours a week respite. Since June if not before, I’ve been trying to keep Sweet Girl on a roughly even keel. Six weeks of summer holiday, followed by six or seven weeks of half home schooling Kesia (and trying to sort out each of the boys in their own crises), and then two weeks of half term have all taken their toll.
So I have tears flowing in my heart. I need to let them flow out, to taste that salt and remind myself that happy tears taste the same as sad tears. To remind myself that tears are incredibly soothing, a release, a catharsis too. I need to remember that sadness and happiness, both these things come from love. And I need to remember and to remind myself that loving “me” is crucial if I’m to continue loving “mine” as they need and deserve it.
PS… Today, I received two emails from people interested in the job to help me… my three hours a week may hopefully soon be back!
PPS… Thanks to my friend Mindi, who has just shared The Universe with me!